Sarah Christian’s Story: Surviving the emotional rollercoaster of living with no hair. Here she tells how she overcame her 25 year battle with Alopecia to help other women learn to love themselves again.
At the tender age of just nine, I woke up to my worst nightmare. My once thick long brown hair was falling out everywhere, my pillow was covered with hair and handful after handful would come out in the shower and on my brush. It was both scary and confusing at the same time, because you have no idea what is going on. You think, ‘Where is my hair going? Why me?’
It was not long after that I was diagnosed with Alopecia, a rare auto-immune condition which causes sudden hair loss and just like that, you automatically feel stripped of your femininity, sexuality and beauty. There is no cure for Alopecia, but that didn’t stop me from going through agonising lengths to get my hair back, yet nothing would work.
Over the next few months things proceeded to get worse, the kids at school started realising my hair was falling out and I got to the point where I just couldn’t cover it anymore. So I decided to wear a wig. Sadly, this didn’t put an end to my bullying nightmare. Kids in the playground can be so cruel, the looks, the comments, it was never ending. Kids think it is “cool” to make fun of you. My first wig was stringy and made from synthetic hair, aka it was plastic! Who wants to wear plastic hair when all you want to do is fit in? It just looked so awful, like a wig and huge plastic ball of frizz on my head. No wonder the kids at school called me “mop head”.
I hit an all time low when a close friend of mine walked up to me in the middle of the playground, grabbed my wig off my head and threw it on the floor. In a complete state of shock and devastation I picked up my wig off the playground floor and ran to the bathroom where I hid for several hours until the head mistress eventually convinced me to come out. This was always (and still is) one of my biggest fears, that someone will just come and yank it off.
Thankfully, not long after that my hair started to grow back, something that is common with Alopecia – only to have it fall out again a few years later. But this didn’t solve my problems. Think back to your first day starting high school, you wanted to fit in, right? I remember walking in that first day with boy short hair thinking this is not how I want to make my first impression.
For me as a young woman I didn’t feel feminine or pretty and at this highly vulnerable time. I just wanted to be like the rest of the girls and to be “normal”. But the boy short look didn’t last too long, as the Alopecia beast made its way back into my life. In high school there are things that you do miss out on or things that are just so much harder. I always backed out of school camps as it meant keeping my hair on for seven days straight, as I refused to take it off.
I would play netball and have to duck to the bathroom in the breaks to wipe the sweat out, as at the time I had a suction based wig that wouldn’t be able grip if there was any sweat. It also meant shaving my head daily to make sure any hair I did have on my head was gone so my wig would stick.
When it came to losing my hair for the 3rd time, I had decided this time I would take control and not let this beast beat me. That very first moment you see yourself totally bald again, it is a complete mix of emotions. In one sense it was invigorating as you made the decision this time, but at the same time, boom there goes your femininity again, in one clean shave.
This time around there were no more synthetic wigs, no more suction based wigs but sadly I had been sold into a wig which I quickly learnt was doing more damage than good. This “fusion wig” would be glued onto my head every few weeks with heavy chemical glues, leaving my scalp not only raw but blistering and weeping.
Then to add salt to the wound, I was being sold what I was lead to believe was premium hair, yet had been subbed in for a cheap off the floor Asian hair. These wigs were next to impossible to manage and the hair would fall out everywhere, the floor was covered again and at best these wigs would last 5-6 weeks. It was like reliving alopecia all over again, but this time it cost over $2k per piece.
It was from this nightmare I turned things around and this became my light bulb moment and the beginning of my beautiful journey! That journey for me was all about finding my right path. Now my goal is to help the women feel beautiful, sexy and feminine, all of which having your hair back can do for you. I want to help others with Alopecia or any type of hair loss fall back in love with themselves again. It led me to establish The Beautiful Hair Boutique in Mosman, Sydney – Australia’s first wig salon, selling ethically sourced wigs.
Hair loss will affect your confidence, but you can learn to live with it and you will overcome it and it ultimately this will give you the strength to also overcome challenges in other areas of your life. I honestly believe I am a stronger person because of it.
So how do you overcome this to help others? Firstly, you have to completely accept yourself for who you are, love yourself and be open to telling people your story. Women crave the strength in others to aspire to. If I was still sad and insecure about my lack of hair, then this wouldn’t work, I couldn’t put myself out there to help other women. I needed to feel beautiful within and confident with how I look to be able to inspire other women to feel confident in how they look. Hair loss doesn’t need to define you, it just one tiny part of who you are.
The Carousel thanks Sarah Christian from The Beautiful Hair Boutique for this article.
This story was originally published on The Carousel.
