Have your ears pricked yet? Sexologists really do hear it all — the most intimate, eyebrow-raising details of other couples’ sex lives. From secret fantasies and favourite sex toys, to tales of leather, chains, and turn-ons that might make your jaw drop. And yes, they also hear about the bedroom hiccups: lack of libido, boredom, and a whole range of other sexual issues.
Other People’s Sex Lives: 4 Things Couples Are Actually Doing
To give us a peek behind the bedroom door, we spoke with HERO Condoms sexologist Juliet Allen. “It’s normal for couples to wonder about others’ sex lives,” she explains. “Curiosity about frequency, fantasies, or whether someone finally had that threesome they’ve been dreaming about is natural.” With that in mind, here are four things couples really do in the bedroom…
1. Quickies are more common than you think
Busy schedules, kids, work, social lives — somehow couples still make it happen. “Quickies often get a bad rap,” says Juliet. “There’s so much focus on long, sensual sex that it can feel like everyone’s doing it. In reality, many couples enjoy quick, pleasurable sex more often than you’d imagine. Ten minutes? That’s all it takes.”
2. Fantasising about group sex
Threesomes might be the ultimate “household conversation topic.” “Group sex is a very popular fantasy,” says Juliet. “Most couples don’t actually go through with it, but the thought alone can be a huge turn-on. Fantasies often stay just that — fantasies.”
3. Solo sessions are normal
Masturbation isn’t just a solo indulgence — it’s self-love. “Even couples who have active sex lives benefit from solo play,” Juliet notes. “It’s an important part of understanding your own pleasure.” So go ahead, embrace a little me-time.
4. Little or no sex happens more than you think
Yes, some couples go through phases of minimal intimacy. “Life gets busy, boredom sets in, and the honeymoon period ends,” Juliet explains. “Having little sex is more common than people admit. If this is your reality, you’re far from alone.” (Refer back to tip #3 for a little self-care!)
For more on keeping intimacy alive at every age, read why your sexuality doesn’t retire in menopause.
About Juliet
Juliet Allen is a sexologist for HERO Condoms, a company that donates one condom to developing countries for every one bought in Australia, to help stop the spread of HIV/AIDS.
