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Have your ears pricked yet? Sexologists really do hear it all

Robyn Foyster by Robyn Foyster
02/11/2025
in Sexual Wellness
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A loving couple, man and woman, resting closely together on a bed indoors during the daytime.
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Have your ears pricked yet? Sexologists really do hear it all — the most intimate, eyebrow-raising details of other couples’ sex lives. From secret fantasies and favourite sex toys, to tales of leather, chains, and turn-ons that might make your jaw drop. And yes, they also hear about the bedroom hiccups: lack of libido, boredom, and a whole range of other sexual issues.

Other People’s Sex Lives: 4 Things Couples Are Actually Doing

To give us a peek behind the bedroom door, we spoke with HERO Condoms sexologist Juliet Allen. “It’s normal for couples to wonder about others’ sex lives,” she explains. “Curiosity about frequency, fantasies, or whether someone finally had that threesome they’ve been dreaming about is natural.” With that in mind, here are four things couples really do in the bedroom…

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1. Quickies are more common than you think

Busy schedules, kids, work, social lives — somehow couples still make it happen. “Quickies often get a bad rap,” says Juliet. “There’s so much focus on long, sensual sex that it can feel like everyone’s doing it. In reality, many couples enjoy quick, pleasurable sex more often than you’d imagine. Ten minutes? That’s all it takes.”

2. Fantasising about group sex

Threesomes might be the ultimate “household conversation topic.” “Group sex is a very popular fantasy,” says Juliet. “Most couples don’t actually go through with it, but the thought alone can be a huge turn-on. Fantasies often stay just that — fantasies.”

3. Solo sessions are normal

Masturbation isn’t just a solo indulgence — it’s self-love. “Even couples who have active sex lives benefit from solo play,” Juliet notes. “It’s an important part of understanding your own pleasure.” So go ahead, embrace a little me-time.

4. Little or no sex happens more than you think

Yes, some couples go through phases of minimal intimacy. “Life gets busy, boredom sets in, and the honeymoon period ends,” Juliet explains. “Having little sex is more common than people admit. If this is your reality, you’re far from alone.” (Refer back to tip #3 for a little self-care!)

About Juliet
Juliet Allen is a sexologist for HERO Condoms, a company that donates one condom to developing countries for e

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Robyn Foyster

Robyn Foyster

Robyn Foyster is a multi-award-winning journalist, media innovator, and founder of Women Love Health, The Carousel, Women Love Tech, Women Love Travel, and Game Changers. With more than 30 years of experience across print, digital, television, and immersive media, Robyn has been at the forefront of shaping Australia’s female narrative and driving conversations that matter. As the Founder and Editor of Women Love Health, Robyn’s mission is to empower women to live stronger, healthier, and more balanced lives. Guided by her belief that wellbeing is holistic—encompassing mind, body, and spirit—she leads a platform that celebrates women’s health in all its forms. From evidence-based wellness insights and expert guidance to stories that inspire self-care and connection, Robyn is passionate about helping women thrive through every stage of life.

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