It wasn’t easy for single mum Ellie to get back into the dating game after being in a relationship for so long. While her relationship had ended two years earlier, she was only officially separated for a couple of months before she decided to rejoin the dating world. Like many woman, Ellie, a mother of three, struggled to make time for her love life, but eventually put herself forward and met her match in Thomas, who happily took Ellie’s children into his own life too. Here’s her advice…
Q: What was it like re-joining the dating scene as a single mum?
A: “Re-joining the dating scene as a ‘single mum’ was tricky as my children absolutely come first. Having three little ones in tow didn’t make it easy for me to get out and about to meet new people. But having a positive mind set about myself was my first step. So being open and honest about my life wasn’t a worry for me, but as time went on, I could pick out particular gentlemen who were not open minded to my world.”
Q: Were you nervous?
A:“Yes, as I hadn’t dated since high school. I also wondered if I even remembered how to date…!”
Q: What challenges did you face?
A:“Finding great guys with open minds to me having children was hard. The children factor was always a deal breaker.”
Q: You joined the dating site eHarmony. What was your experience like?
A:“My experience on eHarmony was positive and happy as I found my person – Thomas. Having my honest status shown on my profile, eHarmony helped a lot by taking out the leg work – explaining that I have children to potential partners.”
Q: Why did you choose this site as opposed to other dating sites?
A: “I love the fact that only your matches can see your profile – not just anyone. I didn’t want to be so ‘disposable’ as the other dating sites.”
Q: What tips would you give for other single mums?
A:“Be yourself, and be confident. A positive mind set helps boosting your confidence. Children always come first before anything, but make sure you make some time for yourself as well.”
Want more dating tips?
eHarmony’s dating and relationship expert, Melanie Schilling, has these tips for single mums…
Have a hot mama mindset
“Start to think of yourself as a sexy woman again (and not ‘just amum’). Why not buy yourself some sexy lingerie and remember how it feels to be desirable again?”
Re-create your dating brand
“It may be a while since you’ve been in the dating scene. No doubt, you’ve changed in many ways and now it’s time to update your ‘outside brand’ to match your ‘inside brand’. Consider the way you dress, speak, walk, gesture and flirt – do these behaviours need updating to reflect your new dating brand?”
Re-write your Ideal Man List
“Time for a reality check. You may have thought you had the man of your dreams last time around or you may have dated and rejected lots of potentials. Now is the time to get real about what you want in a man and a relationship. List your ideal values, interests, personality characteristics and deal-breakers.”
Tell the world
“Like most goals in life, we are most likely to achieve success when we make ourselves accountable. The best way to do this is by telling others about our intentions. So, share your desire for love with the people in your life who will be supportive, challenging and motivating. Who knows, they may have a fabulous man in their closet just dying to meet a hot mama like you!”
This story was originally published on The Carousel.
